sneakyfreak

keeping track of my day to day.

6/28/2001

just went for a short hike to view petroglyphs out side of Albuquerque with mary. very neat to see stuff people crafted so so long ago. i will post pictures when i get home. i am sitting in Mary's hotel room now chilling out and waiting for 3:00 lunch meeting... and then over to UNM to deliver training.

Then to Nate and Julie's!!

6/27/2001

a-ha
in New Mexico and i could live here.
hot, dry, friendly people.
desert sunset. kickass SW grub.
ate at a joint w/ percy called el patio that was great.

i am excited to hit some sites tomorrow (ummm and to work too..)

nighty night.
almost out kids.
nate, circle the wagons.
prepare ye for a visitation.

packing almost done. haircut had.
all to the tunes of The Beautiful South.
guilty pleasure, as chris says.

Kiwi's new movie Legally Blonde premiered last night.
I am waiting for Brandon to report on the lovely sordid details of the festivities. I like the fanciness of LA. It is so funny and self important. It was fun to be around after the passive aggressive northwest standard.

cab coming at 9:30
a little love sends me on my way
with a pile of old sci-fi (bradbury) for my flight
but, oh shit, fergot my toothbrush.

n. out.






this poem has been stuck in my head.
first read it in a Literature of war class taught by Mr. Driscoll in Taiwan.
that was in 1987 and it is still rattling my head and on my mind when i wake up in the morning.
Lessons of the War
To Alan Michel
'Vixi duellis nuper idoneus
Et militavi non sine gloria'
(i) Naming of Parts

Today we have naming of parts. Yesterday,
We had daily cleaning. And tomorrow morning,
We shall have what to do after firing. But today,
Today we have naming of parts. Japonica
Glistens like coral in all of the neighboring gardens,
And today we have naming of parts.

This is the lower sling swivel. And this
Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see
When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
Which in your case you have not got. The branches
Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
Which in our case we have not got.

This is the safety-catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them using their finger.

And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.

They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.


(ii) Judging Distances
Not only how far away, but the way you say it
Is very important. Perhaps you may never get
The knack of judging a distance, but at least you know
How to report on a landscape: the central sector,
The right of arc and that, which we had last Tuesday,
And at least you know

That maps are of time, not place, so far as the army
Happens to be concerned - the reason being,
Is one which need not delay us. Again, you know
There are three kinds of tree, three only, the fir and the poplar,
And those which have bushy tops to; and lastly
That things only seem to be things.

A barn is not called a barn, to put it more plainly,
Or a field in the distance, where sheep may be safely grazing.
You must never be over-sure. You must say, when reporting:
At five o'clock in the central setor is a dozen
Of what appear to be animals; whatever you do,
Don't call the bleeders sheep.

I am sure that's quite clear; and suppose, for the sake of example,
The one at the end, asleep, endeavors to tell us
What he sees over there to the west, and how far away,
After first having come to attention. There to the west,
On the fields of summer the sun and shadows bestow
Vestments of purple and gold.

The still white dwellings are like a mirage in the heat,
And under the swaying elms a man and a woman
Lie gently together. Which is, perhaps, only to say
That there is a row of houses to the left of arc,
And that under some poplars a pair of what appear to be humans
Appear to be loving.

Well that, for an answer, is what we might rightly call
Moderately satisfactory only, the reason being,
Is that two things have been omitted, and those are important.
The human beings now: in what direction are they,
And how far away would you say? And do not forget
There may be dead ground in between.

There may be dead ground in between; and I may not have got
The knack of judging a distance; I will only venture
A guess that perhaps between me and the apparent lovers,
(Who, incidentally, appear now to have finished,)
At seven o'clock from the houses, is roughly a distance
Of about one year and a half.

-Henry Reed

6/26/2001

12.5 miles, wind from the north, top speed probably 6 knots. over to pt. madison for dinner with cousin Randy and his wife Suzanne. It was a beautiful grey evening. a little green smoggy in the distance which was a little sad, but clear around sea-town. saw 2 porpoise, always a thrill. want more days like this.

i can hardly believe i am going someplace tomorrow. leah just came over for the housesitters info drill and now i am left here trying to clean those last things up before i leave. i love my apt or i guess i love being surrounded with my stuff and my cat hair dust bunnies. what do i pack for new mexico. shit, i gotta deal.

oh... nickpeters.org is now hooked up to my resume. i will probably do more with it eventually, but it is parked for now. needed to distinguish myself from nickpeters.com, who is a realestate fellow from california. smarmy.
color me frantic.
heading to New Mexico tomorrow to deliver ClassTools training to a bunch of teachers and then make my way up to santa fe to visit nate and julie. so excited to see the kids. but right now i am a nut case. trying to make sure my house is in some semblance of order so that my housesitting friend doesn't think i am gross... which i amn't... most of the time. dishes, piles of papers, books... they all need to find little homes for a while or magically get made clean.

mr. reeck came over last night to share a bottle of wine and do some resume surgery. we kicked some bootay and had a great time doing it. come on! where are those awesome companies who are supposed to be courting us professionals?

ms. dilworth was accepted to NYU's MFA program. i am very proud of her and entranced by her paintings. wish i had a spare k laying around so I could invest. one day i will. she was one of 8 people in the program for next year. what an artstar.

Sailing tonight with russ and my cousin randy and his wife suzanne. can't wait to get out on the water. the weather man says rain... i say who cares. as long as there is a bit of wind.

so there.

6/24/2001

just put up some pictures of sailing yesterday. Grandpa, Maria, Sarah and I spent the day on the water. 25 mile cruise. low wind coming from the south. it was kind of a grey day, but i still managed to get a bit of a sun burn. I brought a couple crabs along and some soda and beer. we had a blast. headed north past edmonds, then south to pt. madison. sleeping on the bow. mmm. barking at seals. it fills me up.

now hanging and doing laundry. puttering around the house. never enough time for that.

6/22/2001

mr. rochester, you are a boor and a cur.

now i am watching Jane Eyre w/ orson welles (i think). j-me'd be psyched.
l'orque.
il y a une legende d'eskimo qui dit l'orque etait une fois un loup que est alle vivre dans la mer. commes les loups el chasse en group et ils mangent ce qui est devant lui. un qui ete attrape a mange 13 dauphin et 14 phoque et une autre a mange 32 phoque quande il attque une balein bleu. ils mettent en le bouche de lautre et dechire de pieces de la langue. ils peuvent atteindre 10 metre de longeur. ils sont noir et blanc.

that from an old essay i wrote on whales in 5th grade in rwanda. i was at the ecole belge a kigali and my french wasn't very good when i got there. and that was after 3 years of weekly french classes in mali. i learned french in rwanda and not much else in that school. i was kind of a freak cause i couldn't tell what was going on. i napped with my head down in class regularly. i blew off school cause it didn't work for me. i was only really active in one area of class.. science. i kept a terrarium at school that i kept stocked with chameleons and other beasties. rwanda was beautiful but it was mean. i have never seen any place as wonderful as the akagera game park. it was heaven. big animals, dead animals, eating animals, ferking animals.... i was a fan. but kigali was mean.

where did this come from? i just got back from a family reunion at my ma's house. she broke her leg a couple days ago. in two places. how? extreme gardening. my mom is a badass and i have never seen a more beautiful back yard. she has been working her butt off to make that place beautiful and now she is getting an enforced rest from the yard work. she is ready for a smaller place. ah. it was good to see family. i have good cousins. i have good rellies.

i gots to go to bed. it is 11 on a friday. i am a weenie.

bon soir.

6/19/2001

the oracle seems to think i should move to israel or mexico...or something like that


a le and from a greater and under mexico the bible ii yiddish
found myself asleep on the couch at 7:00 pm
woke up to chat with linda but quickly slipped back to sleep.
was up for a while at midnight long enough to check mail and read a little news
and then back to bed till 4:30.

i wonder when i would sleep if i was in a vacuum. i wonder if it matters.

6/18/2001

monday monday
usually they are quick work days
but i am kinda sitting in a lull between two roars
so today dragged a bit. i got plenty to do, but not so good at
getting started at it... so i plug away at some usability stuff. plug plug plug.
but now i am home. and it is a beauty summer day. seattle style. big fat cat style.
my apt is a bit chilly. i opened all my windows to air the kittyness out. my living room is
filled with plants. i couldn't resist the palm plant at the garage sale yesterday so added another orphan
houseplant to the family. yummy living room goodness. i have been thinking about living on a boat and one
of my greatest regrets would be not having a lot of space for plants. they are digging the sunny day, my plants are.

got nasty tax things to do. want to go outside after hiding out all weekend. we shall see where i find myself.
volume dubliners bloodcurdling sand sky drawing milagro baselitz art photography nice animal the other comic for amerika breakfast

hmmmmmmm.....

6/17/2001

weekend was sublime.
did nothing much.
saw tomb raider, shadow of the vampire, little nicky.
slept alot. avoided things i ought to have done.
feel pretty good about this.

6/15/2001

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Week of June 14, 2001

If I could give the 11 other signs of the zodiac one essential piece of advice about you, it would be: Never underestimate a Taurus. Many people do, and then pay for it later, often in the form of a lost opportunity. Luckily for everyone, however, you're now in a favorable position to correct their misconceptions. All the tribes, even Aries and Aquarius, are suddenly more receptive to your true value. You, in turn, are better able than usual to communicate the fullness of your earthy wisdom and tender power. Get out there, Taurus, and gently blow our minds.


ohh... i been bad.
wednesday. raced on quorum. beautiful weather. no wind till 7:00 pm then it picked right up and made for a lovely blow around the sound.
thursday... tennis with brady. up till 1 am reading. sore, but good sore.
today... work and i don't know what else. sushi with molly tonight i think. shiro's. yum. there was some talk of going dancing, but i may plead weariness. but then again, maybe i won't.

6/12/2001

been infrequent here. appologies.
hey jen. happy happy birthday. you are so cool. m-m-m-m-m-m.
went sailing this eve with russ and my friend jeff dalto.
it was a low wind situation. but enough that were pulling 2.7 nauts across the sound.
flew the spinnaker. it was cool. drank some beer and ate some chips.
sailed in a very relaxing way.

afterwards went to mr. daltos swank surfy pad and played 1)the sax and 2)the trombone.
jeff said i was a natural. i know i am musically retarded so i take that with a cube of salt. but it was fun to blow a horn. to vibrate. it is a lung thing. i think it is from swimming and holding my breath underwater. i am fascinated. being out at the beach at westport set me on fire. i was burning with life while diving waves. goodness me. maybe i should take up the trombone.

breathe. breathe deep. sweeter than koolaid, baby.


my apartment is chilly and my cats want my attention. went drinking after the the sail. got a little loopy.

love love love, I'm a trigger hippy.


6/11/2001

wont be wearing sunglasses today.
all rainy.
the weekend was short. i spent sat and sunday til one working on the boat w/ g'pa.
sanded and repainted the bottom, then polished the topsides. zincs got replaced
and now the good ship indian summer is going back in the water. the good ship nick is
armsore, sunburned and tired. that nice tired you get when you work hard and have something
to show for it. besides that... I went and saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch with Martha, finished the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon (read it, you must) and had some quality fall asleep in front of the tv time. I made it to my bed at 2:30 am last night after not being able to move from my couch.

this is the life.

sailing tomorrow on the shiny boat.
racing on wednesday with quorum.
damn, my week is gone in a puff of wind.


6/07/2001


TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Week of June 7, 2001

A few weeks ago I told you it was prime time, astrologically speaking, to visit the Garden of Eden. You may have interpreted that in a metaphorical sense, which was fine, or you may have acted on my hint that paradise has an objectively real existence that's accessible through meditation. In either case, I hope you're still hanging out in that environs, Taurus, because I now have even better news to report. You know the fruit that God once forbade Adam and Eve to try? Amazingly, He has changed his mind. Here's the new covenant, directly from the Supreme Being's lips to your eyes: It's OK to eat the apple.

6/05/2001

things are always better in the morning.

6/04/2001

just finished watching ravenous and bamboozled. both worth watching.
also scarfed down prawns i bought out at the ocean after surfing yesterday. the prawns were amazing. i boiled them in file gumbo, hot sauce, lemon, salt. excellent.

saturday: i hung out with sarah in the morning and then slept the rest of the day. a series of naps broken up with periods of reading Assasins quest. i love trashy fantasy. lull me into oblivion. i finally got out of bed at 11:30 and walked through heavy rain to go see Mercury Four at the elysian. I missed the band but hung with some friends who were extremely drunk. quite fun.

sunday got up early and went out to westport with brian, tina, michael, paul, holly, dalto, caroline and chong for some amazing boogie boarding. i love the ocean and didn't want to get out. thank god for wetsuits. the waves were great. it doesn't get much better than that. bought the aformentioned prawns on the way out of town.

feeling down in the dumps still (though the weekend lifted me out of it for a while). i feel like i am being a boring little shit. i am needy, though i have been pushing folks away (sorrysorrysorry). lordy lordy lordy, this is the funk.

the nice thing is i know it passes. i didn't know that ten years ago when i would sink. gosh it's great not to be in my twenties.

i am going to bed. i love my bed.
sleeptight, little monkies.

6/02/2001

from a wise friend who was channeling kafka.
"You do not need to leave your room. remain sitting at your table and listen. do not even listen, simply wait. do not even wait, be still & solitary. the world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, & it will roll in ectasy at your feet."


i like that.

this is from me. written sometime in 1990 (i believe). it is writen on Embassy of the United States of America stationary... so i guess it is from when i was interning up in ottawa. hmmm.

"while you were out
i was in
and
while you were in
i was out
although these occurances frequently occur
i've neglected to devote enough of my
precious priveate mourning time
remembering these near misses and
lost opportunity for subtle exchange."

i am cleaning my house. can you tell? unpacking a box that i had in storage and looking for space to cram pieces of my past as symbolized by things. now that i have a hot glue gun i may be tempted to make a huge sticky ball out of everything and hang it in the corner of my living room. its like that.

bomb bomb.


6/01/2001

losing my my oh my mind to spearhead this morning.
ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Dave,
listen again a few times. w/ headphones.
i suspect your ass will start shaking.

n.

sliding down some slippery work slope.
maybe dave can show me how do a self-arrest thingie.
cause work feels like a big mountain right now.

oh fyi. no need to try to cheer me up or tell me that i am an ok person.
like, i already know that... i am just in a state. i'll get over it. laisse moi.
come on... we all choose our own horrors, and we must exorcise our own demons.

listening to joe henry's new album "scar" and it is growing on me.
ornette coleman makes it more jazzy than the monkey cd... it is turning into my night music of choice. ummm can we consider 5:30 am night? also picked up Spearhead's "stay human" and am enjoying it as well. Franti still does it for me. mmm.

oh. it's friday. my mood is improving already.