and no sailing for nick tonight.
why? fucking meetings till 4:30.

i am pissed.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Week of May 31, 2001

Your ring fingers are the least useful parts of your hands, right? Yet much historical lore attributes a special sensitivity to them. In medieval Europe, apothecaries believed their "leech fingers" could detect when mixtures of herbs had harmful qualities. It was also in that era that married couples first wore their wedding rings in the place where everyone does today. Both traditions originated in an even more ancient notion that a unique nerve links the fourth digit directly to the heart. I mention this, Taurus, because your ring finger is a potent symbol right now. As one example of what it should move you to meditate on: A resource you believe to have marginal value may be essential in keeping your sympathy flowing and your feelings thriving.

back at work.
how do i always end up here on the sunny days? growl. bitch. moan.
played some tennis last night and did fairly well. had a few drinks with various crowds.
crashed.

story of my life. editing out the interesting bits, of course.

what are the interesting bits these days? they mostly involve me wondering what the hell i am doing with my life. those perpetual questions about career, love, happieness. i have no answers. all my speculations are just that, so i try to avoid them and instead fill my time with ummmm tennis, sailing, beer, whatever will get me through the night. it doesn't have to be right, it just has to be right now. it doesn't have to be good, it just has to be better than the other options presenting themselves to me.

i am tired. can you tell.

Indian Summer's engine is fixed, so i will wander down to shilsole this evening for a little water time to clear my head, cuz my head needs clearing.

but for now... classtools kick off meeting planning. a little xen cuts on winamp. lifting the fog from my head.

not much going on. went to bed at 7:30 last night after finishing "the mysteries of pittsburgh" by michael chabon, which you should read cause it is amusing. right now i am avoiding work. suprise suprise. more later.

heading to my mom's house for the day. yard work, chatting, etc.
tennis and swimming in the lake yesterday. margarita's at Cactus in madison park.
wonderboys at brady's.

sunniest day, thanks seattle.
following my little sister's grand tradition i present to you my current wishlist of books. Please regard these books as some that you yourself should read... they have been chosen mostly because the authors of them kick all kinds of literary ass.

1st day of the three day
and i am spring cleaning: cat box washing, tub scrubbing, clothes washing.
bouncing.
went and saw molly's piece in the Coca NW Annual last night, saw the lovely elizabeth, brady, martha, and scottyp. had a few drinks. saw some cool paintings. met jen and jeanie, new friends of brady's. bouncing.

and today... the lake beckons. as does my low air tired bike.
feeling like i am home. nothing better.

tomorrow will be a sailing day.
seattle summer, hello.

and now am paying for it 6 hrs later.
oh my po head.

walking down to montllake to catch the bus over the bridge. subtle protest. against what i am not sure. I woke up thinking about the trigonometry of love. though i am not sure exactly what it is yet.

it was so nice to wake up in my cozy bed this morning. cool breeze coming in the window. duck giving my face little nibbles. trying to keep my eyes shut but smelling the new day so couldn't. home sweet home.

ok. i am a little drunk.
just went to the opening of the seattle international film festival.
saw the anniversary party by jennifer jason leigh and alan cummings
it was great fun and the partay afterwards was swell.
drinking straight vodka with a squeeze of lime cute ladies and great music.
yumba. danced and peed in the flower pots. oh well. joely joel and i mmm rocked
the house.

a favorite book review on amazon

" the dark itching, March 7, 2000
Reviewer: A reader from IHOP
to be perfectly honest, i haven't exactly read this book. it matters not. and anyway, i just ordered the dang thing, so i'll read it soon enough. am i the only poor asshead in the world with a credit card, internet access, poor impulse control, and a fascination with ugly prehistoric fish?"

hey sweetnesses of life.
pisser mood. at least i have my machine up and running. no big deal. just a little fiddleing.
got slammed up against a wall of depression today. sitting at work with no one around. sitting on the bus in nasty traffic. coming home to my nobody but the cats there home. growl. piss. moan. joel stopped by which lightened things up a bit. it is good to see him. but of course i get bummed out cause he isn't at apex anymore. growl.

these things pass.

oh, and it is spring and i want to fall off the pine train into somebody's arms... but i ain't letting anybody catch me these days. what's that all about?

home.
internet connection from home is on the fritz
so no interesting postings from there. no time to troubleshoot.
maybe today.

flight home was horrid and aggravated by snowstorm in denver.
i finally made it back to my pad at 2:30 monday morning.

did i mention that baltimore was heavenly? more so the second time around.
well, it was.

home to a snarly mess of work. drowning? maybe. busy? definitely.

no rest for the wicked. and i been bad.

reprieve.
i get to go home early. on monday. yessireee bob! wooohooo.
i am driving back out to baltimore this weekend.... from columbus... a mere 7 hr drive.
flying back to sea-town on sunday night.

went and saw spykids today. very funny movie. see it.

back in marietta. been in baltimore, d.c., st. clairsville and all parts in between.
had a great time in bmore and dc. hung with the absolutely adorable calvin and kate and denis.
spent the afternoon at the nat. gallery of art and wish i had an extra day. drooled over giocommeti, brancusi, matisse, picasso + more. damn. i wish seattle had a better art museum... but then again thats why we have business trips. thanks apex.


had a couple good meetings today. schools are very excited about our products. now if we can only stay alive long enough for it to catch on.

found a new author that does it for me. ferrol sams. i read "when all the world was young" in a marathon session (ww2 theme to this trip continues). picked up "epiphany" today and am well into it. well written, had me laughing out loud, poignant. also bought steve martin's "shopgirl" on tape and listened to it while driving back from baltimore. it was great. made me think about relationships especially when followed by the wonderful "down the slipperly slope" one of spalding grays monologues.

good reads.

in marietta, oh. which is much nicer than w. va.
staying at a cool old hotel that opened in 1918. finally some decent grub.
way too much driving for hour long meetings. getting kinda tired of it all and it is only day 3.
no meetings for friday yet... so i may head to baltimore. a weekend with d-man clan would be refreshing.

not much excitement. mostly just hanging in hotel and reading and figuring out where i am going next.
just finished "Letter to My Descendants" by Niels Skov who was one of my professors at evergreen. he was a saboteur in denmark during wwII. very interesting book by an incredible man. definitely recommend it. good personal/world history.

3 weeks of this and i am going to be a crazy man.

in parkersburg west virginia.
my hotel is in bfe... nothing in walking distance. hell.
i may move after tomorrow or the day after. we'll see how my appts pan out.
right now i am just chilling at the hampton. may take a dip in a while. it is hot hot hot out. too bright for my seattle eyes.

kabalarians


Your name of Nick has given you an idealistic nature with a desire to help others. Your initiative often causes you to be the first to act when you see a need. Since you are impressionable and receptive, you feel the misfortunes of others very keenly. However, this name makes it awkward for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings with finesse and diplomacy to the extent that your candid, sometimes blunt, manner of speaking creates misunderstandings with others. Being somewhat self-centred, you learn through your own experiences, as you rarely take advice from others. Yet, you are sensitive and very easily hurt and offended. You long for praise and appreciation for your efforts, but others find it difficult to understand you. You dislike monotony and system and enjoy being creative in an inventive way whether it be in interior decorating, music, art, crafts, or other endeavours that require versatility and skill. You are imaginative and visionary, somewhat of a perfectionist, yet the results of your efforts often fall short of your high expectations. A leadership position appeals to you because you would enjoy directing others rather than being directed. Your feelings are strong and you tend to react intensely to situations. Because of your sensitive nervous system, over-stress and extreme tiredness could cause nervous disorders, seizures, fainting, or dizziness. You could also experience head tension such as headaches, weak eyes, or throat problems.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

heyheyhey,
driving to west virginia today.
busting the fatty moves.
woohoo.

back from dinner and a stroll (long one) down the short north.
bump'n. good cuban food. a corona or two to celebrate el cinco de mayo.
got yelled at (in a good way) walking down the street.
columbus is a pretty fun town. i dig it.

hmmmm wonder if west virginia is going to knock my socks off too.

hey punks,
made it to columbus, made it to my hotel... about to wander out and find food.
ich habe hunger. maybe german village maybe just walk. kinda dazed from flight.

trying to decide if i should blow this popsicle stand tomorrow and head for west virginia. it would save me a big drive on monday morning. going to hannibal, OH.. .got to be there by 9:00.

i'm on the road and i'm gunning for the buddha. we know his name and he musn't get away.

got well into the Brothers Karamozov (Dostoevsky) on the flight here. nice to dip into russian literature again. when i travelled to europe in 90 i got all wrapped up in Cancer Ward by Solzhenitsyn... mmmmmm... siberia.

ok. got to go wander.

n.

here is my trip jukebox in leaving state.

gillian welch hell among the yearlings
gillian welch revival
o brother, where art thou? soundtrack
the magnetic fields 69 love songs vol 2
olu dara neighborhoods
shuggie otis inspiration information
mc solaar le tour de la question
outkast stankonia
dr octogon dr. octagonecologyst
deltron 3030
orishas a lo cubano
the dandy warhols thirteen tales from urban bohemia
pigeonhed pigeonhed
gusgus v.s t-world
xen cuts cd 2
modest mouse sad sappy sucker + collaborations with 764-hero
laika good looking blues


the inital reads to get me through the plane ride

The Big U
neal stepenson

Letters to my descendants
niels aage skov

five-finger discount
helen stapinski


so much to get done before tonight.
i'm tripping over myself. quick note about yesterday though.

semi busy day at work. recoil. regroup. regather. thank god i love the people i work with, wouldn't be worth it otherwise. talk a bunch to ohio, got more leads. left work in the early afternoon, bus home to pick up dry cleaning put money in the banque, bus to u district, lively chat with aime while scarfing down a ceders falafel, bus to shilsole, and ahhhhhhh. sailed over to jefferson head, pt wells, then home. nice winds, a bit chilly but clear. it was delicious and needed more than you know. perfect sail perfect conversation. g'pa and i talked about the soon to be new addition to our clan (i am going to be uncle nick, WOOHOO!), condo woes, work woes and everything in betwixt. back at their place we hopped in the pool + hot tub and then had a great salmon dinner fixed by g'ma, heaven. home.

but now i am back to the rushed world. bags to be packed. pills to be picked up.


at least the music has been selected.

my friends suzanne and mike just had a baby!!!
my house is almost sparkly.
my cats know something is up.
i want to go sailing.
ohio seems about 10,524 miles too far away from the action. which may be a good thing. but how am i going to be able to tell unless i am here.

layoffs=40% of company.
rather tragic, but i hope it buys the time we need.
and at this point i can't tell for sure.