nice day running around. MOCA.. very nice rauschenberg collection, great rothkos, 2 wonderful giocomettis... sushi lunch, sushi dinner. dinner was with b, k, and melissa (nice friend of kirsten's who is moving up to vancouver shortly)... saw dylan mcdermott and perry farrell at the sushi joint... i actually didn't notice that perry was perry cause i was so busy checking out his polyester leisure suit. very nice. a little nehru safari action. sushi was exquisite... very different from the straightforward sushi we get in sea-town. here it is all lemon juice and salt and asparagus and such. back home...fish.

leaving tomorrow at 6 am or so for drive to SF. driving the coast so i am anticipating a 12 hour day on the road... if i stop at the beach maybe a little longer... i guess i should say when i stop at the beach... as if i could resist the water. since before i could walk i couldn't be around water without trying to get into it. cool water all over my body.

hump day.
hitting an art museum today. not sure which one.
went out with rick, brando and rick's lovely friend, nicole, last night.
dinner would have been good except for my whole lactose problem.
unfortunately the fellow didn't believe me when i said no cheese. hungry man.

today. art. LA. grub. a little of this a little of that. ok. i am being vague. i am kind of focused on my long drive tomorrow up the nickle (i5). need to get some music for the ride... modest mouse a long drive with nothing to think about and olu dara top my list of wants. i will see what i can manuever today. also need some road food. also a map. i think i want to pause in santa cruz... i would like one more beach day before i leave california... though i am planning a couple on the oregon coast as well (oswalds west state park, bandon).

time will tell.
i suspect the blogs may stop after tomorrow morning. on the road, baby. thank god for not being wireless yet.

oh...while surfing yesterday, there was a big ol' whale spouting and surfacing just off the beach and dolphins swimming in the waves. did i mention that water and water things seduce me like nothing else? long ago dreams of falling in love with a whale and swimming away with her still rumble around my head.

zuma beach was the shit.
went boogieboarding in gear borrowed from a nice guy on the beach. i have decided i could live here in fetid LA for that beach.
the water was incredible, the waves were seductive and long, the sun was beating down, holding breath under waves, getting pummeled by the surf. damn.
hanging at brandito's now, waiting to call ricky-baby so we can hook up tonight. today is luscious.

whoa.
ended up getting drunker than thou last night w/ sr. brandon and the demoiselles kirsten and jane. went to a bar called daddys that reminded me very much of portland. dark. red. vinylesque crazy booth love. makers mark washed down with gin and tonics piled on sushi. it was not a pretty picture. at least i had the sense to retreat when the room started spinning. this is a much deserved drunk that i have been pining for. fun release of the senses in a totally legal manner. thank god for the government.

mmmm... thought of portland dark bar scene. end of central america roadtrip. moving too fast w/ the good man Stonleigh. dark bar and strange women. nuff said.

waiting for brandon to finish shaving at which point we will hit the beach. we thought about hotdogs @ pink for breakie... but it is not to happen today. i am still a little spinny and gut spasmy. but heh... been up since six thirty reading entertainment magazines and the very entertaining and informative book NoBrow... about the marketing of culture and the culture of marketing. i stole that from the books cover. i would tell you who wrote it... but that would require research and the boook is back at Kiwi's pad.

uhhh now brandon is showering. we will be out of here soon... i know it.

LA is fun. very manageable. nice people. hot. dirty. faux. trashy. the industry (as they define it, we all know what the real industry is). hotties in fancy cars. tacos instead of teriyaki. smog instead of rain. airconditioned instead of heated. drunk instead of driving.

ahhh shower finished. to the be-yatchedness.

LA continues to be cool.
got my hair chopped and ate some fan-fucking-tastic sushi at the joint where hugh grant ate before his fateful night with the lovely ms. devine brown. went to luz de jesus and bought some schwag... couple of howard finster posters and other crap.
tomorrow.. the beach.

in LA.
woohoo.
LV was cool, but glad to be on phase II
tonight oscar party with odd host of characters incl: ducky (not the cat, the teen hearthrob from pretty in pink) and some other lovely folk.
dig?dug.

now down the serious bidness.

ok.
bit more mellow now.
i love kristen hersh and los throwing muses.
university is growing on me all over again.
officially on vacation.
officially completely relieved.
kisses.
nick out.

sweating the small things.
trying to pull my apt together.
excited about the vacation
but got a million things to do that i am just starting to think of.

i think the old blog is going to get some rest for a few days. i am hoping to have nothing to do with the internet for a few weeks.
is it possible?

gotta clean the kitchen. gotta sort through papers. gotta gotta gotta get the fuck out of here.

ahhhh 5:30.... now that's more like it.

is the archiving system on blogger a little faulty? or is it just me?

hola my little punkettes,
2:11 on the little clock in the upper right and i have just paid tribute to the new cautionorange look. thanks mr. reeck for the suggestion. orange you glad you suggested it.

spent the evening reading some crappy scifi novel. in bed by 8:30. out of bed and well rested by 1:40. i will be forcing myself back to bed here soon.

i am trying to get all my ducks in a row for my little trip. not sure about luggage yet, though i suspect i may have to participate in the evil check in plot. i want to bring my tent and sleeping bag with me, but they dominate my duffle bag in ways that may not allow for clothing. i will be investigating further this evening. can't wait can't wait. anxious-boy.

adventuretime.
ummm no.
bedtime

los bloggyvoices are being meddlesome today
what gives? no worry, i'm sure some poor geek is fretting through it already.
Hail geeky brother or sister in arms! may all your server repairs go well.

busy day at work. i got my desk cleaned up a bit in anticipation of it sitting there empty for two weeks. It'll be nice to come back to a clean workspace. emptied my in box. did some work on some affiliate deals. psyched myself up for post trip spec writing. meetings meetings meetings. where would i be without them? oh, i know... working.

went out to the pig in the kitchen for lunch w/ sr. goldstein. chicken taquitos, good conversation about road trips, having babies and loss of innocence. a thing that manifests over and over and over in our funny little lives. i guess my goal is to be as un-innocent as possible. not to be caught off guard by anything. to be open to any thing or any body. or maybe that is the ultimate innocence... to not deny the reality of any thing or way.

hmmm getting a little to deep for myself. it happens sometimes.

cautionorange is up an running!
Oh happy day! a new home for sneakyfreak.
http://www.cautionorange.com/sneakyfreak

should i go to work today?

the fifth fireflies and noted the evolution from the

sunday=meet the parents, animal factory, couch, trix, tv, laundry, dishes

that's the scoop, baby.

saturday i went down to emp to see diamond fist werny and maktub.
mmm delicious. maktub kicks ass. smooth, funky, makes my bootie shake. diamond fist werny defined much of '96 for me. She never kill spiders. many an evening was spent lying around the 12th ave house with DFW blaring. it was good to get out.

except for phone calls that kept pulling me out of bed
it was a do nothing last night
which was fine by me

been up since 5.
just putzing around, doing a little web meander
what did i do before dsl?

tunes by gillian welch
hell among the yearlings
perfect saturday morning music

garage sales are seasonally starting again
saw some big signs out yesterday on the way home
i will be topping off the air in my bike tires and go fer a look in a few hours.
garagesales are a strange addiction, i don't know how to explain it except that for me it is the ultimate voyeuristic experience. going through other folks castoff, buying their junk. weird huh? i also like the early weekend morning destination of it. I walk and ride my bike through a couple different neighborhoods... capitol hill, wallingford, eastlake even up to queen anne. mmmm at home adventures.

just found out my friend bill tung is somewhere in arizona. of course my first thought is... well shit, i'll just work it into my vacation. unfortunately my damn time is limited. suck ass. i really should bust out a map but that would ruin the adventure of it in many ways. i like to not know where i am going. i like being on the road. i like getting into trouble and being lost or at least mildly uncertain. when i think of las vegas i think of 1. canadian wunderkind douglas coupland burying steroids in the desert 2. johnny depp as hunter s. in a flooded hotel room and 3. ok... so i don't have a # 3 right now.

i want to go to a ghost town.
i want to end up in the ocean after driving through the desert.
i have this mad desire to go to the grand canyon.
i want to visit kristen, bill, lorena, bruno, brandon, laurie goff (wishful and wistful thinking)
i want to leave tresures in secret places.

makes you want to leave right now doesn't it.

just tried out nate's new oracle
and just had a sudden vision of my self at 70 staring at a new nate oracle.

oddly enough, the question i asked the oracle was:

what's in front of me?

great must american nausea lot dictionary to people sometimes spider's remedies dubliners to a


i really must ask it what is behind me (excepting my big bootie, of course).

free at last free at last
not to cheapen the words or anything
but damn it is nice to be home and for it to be friday night
watching mtv, drinking tea, don't think i am going anywhere tonight
maybe to pick a movie. no more, maybe less.

i won a limerick contest at work today. it was a swell piece about working too much.
sorry, can't relay it here. company secrets. i'd have to kill you. or spank you. or something equally painful for all of us.

josh is on his way over after a show at the henry
fun man to hang with, we converse in rusty french
and talk about travel and families.

i am drinking roiboos tea
that my friend jim tipped me off on
and bread with huckleberry honey.

hey brainiac
the day got better but was rushed gone before i knew it
got a bunch of work done, gave a webcast presentation
to some university of california folk, started two new projects
(working on some books, affiliate tracking shite). blah blah blah
day in the life of.

came home turned up heat ahhhhhhh
deep breathe hold and release and a little personal time on the web
doing some reading and a little rearranging
thinking about the drive up the coast and the drive to LA and some desert
and some diner and it doesn't even matter where i am. delightful. it has been since
my malarial bike trip to bandon back in '96 that i have had a do-nothing, be-by-myself vacation.
that isn't actually true, but it feels like it.

and i'll have a car, which will be sweet
haven't had one of those since '95.
i'm such a fucking hippie.

speaking of which... heading down to e-green to give a talk on the 18 of april
gonna be fun to be back in a classroom.

rambleamos.

Announcment:
until further notice this day is placed on hold.
everybody please return to your beds and cover your heads for a few more hours while the management works out some kinks in the days schedule.

thank you,

the management

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Week of March 15, 2001

Let's play Jeopardy. I'll give you the metaphorical solutions for several of your burning concerns, and you will come up with the appropriate questions. Ready? Here are the answers: 1. Like drinking fresh-squeezed lemonade in the middle of the night. 2. Like receiving the gift of a toy dragon from a person you thought was mad at you. 3. Like all the workers at the local landfill suddenly breaking into a Cole Porter medley as you drive up with your load of garbage. 4. Like making love with all the lights blazing.

touche la mouche
long day of all meetings separated by 2 half hour breaks
and a nasty scarfed lunch. i reached a point where i just wanted to throw my hands up and leave
but couldn't cuz ummmm i had to do a presentation or ummm hey gots to figure out why stuff doesn't work.

when i got home i deflated inflated and reflated
or something like that. i melted and came back together. i love my little appartment.
all my plants and warm things like the monsters and big pillows and sweet burning incense.

had a nice dinner last night with Lin and John, Wendy, Katja and Brady. We went and had some slow vietnamese food and beers, then came back to my house to drink some wine and chat. I haven't seen wendy since i moved out of the greenlake area 4 years ago. Strange after living together for a year or so. My bad.

So nice to hang out with friends.

Work is picking up without slowing down. Isn't that just like work. no rest for the wicked.

had a nice chat with jen this morning. it is very nice to wake up to a little typeytypey goodness from the otherside of the world. I am looking forward to our drive up the coast. Taking my tent and sleeping bag. Mmmmmmm beaches, mmmm long road.

I want to go up to the dungeness spit soon. It is one of my favorite places in the world, especially in the winter when we have big weather happening. I love walking down the beach towards port angeles, dodging surf and collecting stones. time lined cliffs. eagles. i am feeling dreamy.

unfortunately i have to go to work now. so much for my little visualization exercise.

all dressed down today.
in my crappy crusty sweatshirt with paint on it.
slackerly.

perhaps it is natural.
i am just freaking.

She is restless and peevish, and sometimes in a freak will instantly change her habitation. --Spectator.

freak \Freak\ (fr[=e]k), v. t. [imp. & p. p. Freaked (fr[=e]kt); p. pr. & vb. n. Freaking.] [Akin to OE. frakin, freken, freckle, Icel. freknur, pl., Sw. fr["a]kne, Dan. fregne, Gr. perkno`s dark-colored, Skr. p[.r][,c]ni variegated. Cf. Freckle, Freck.] To variegate; to checker; to streak. [R.]

it all went off with out a hitch.
very very nice. we have already sold in the neighborhood of 50,000 seats for APER. Which multiplies the users of Apex products by something like 10 times. very exciting to have put it all together.

walked around all day with a virtual gold star on my forehead.

though i did get into a funk today too. don't know why, just felt depressed. not sure i want to think about it too much as i seem to have pulled myself out of it. but i was genuinely sad for about 5 hours today. worried about money, worried about time, worried about the ladies, worried about worrying. i really haven't felt that kind of sad/frustrated in a while. time for vacation. of course i have lots to get done before i actually go... shit, how depressing.

like i said, i don't want to go into it now.

back to the gold star on my head. I am so fawking kewwwwl.

sometimes i want to be back in africa and away from all this. sometimes i wish i didn't have anyone to see, no place to go, nothing but time and space. i am jealous of nate and julie and their new world in the desert. need to get down there.

didn't get any work done. the extent of my getoutedness this weekend was going to brunch over at the lovely Kristen's pad, with the usual posse, and swinging by the drugstore for some have-to-haves. ah. it was a perfect weekend. very little energy expended.

check out AP Exam Review. it is going live today. ahhh. joyousness. unfortunately i do not get to rest on my laurels.. i have a big presentation to do this morning that i neglected to prepare for. does the to do list ever end? doubt it.

i try so hard to be the king of slack. the world just doesn't always perform as i want it to.

vacation in 10 days. counting down. counting backwards.

got the laundry going. broke fast on leftover fried rice and have continued my couch marathon. ahhh.
I really ought to do some work planning today. but i am feeling rather burnt out. fuck it.

still awake. one of the downfalls of sleeping all day is that i can't sleep that night. oh well.

i very much succeeded in doing nothing today. had the heat turned up. sat on the couch and read and watched random tv. declined all offers of go out kind of entertainment. truly lazy.

secret squirrel
trying for a do-nothing day
been reading trash and futzing around the pad
dusting my avacado plants leaves and watering all my house plants. moved my moss garden into the living room. mmmm

hey, it's friday already.
how did that happen?

saw crouching tiger hidden dragon last night for the 2nd time. despite the fact that i loved it i slept through about half of it. then went home instead of out for drinks with the lovely friends. i am a weenie these days and can't stay awake (unless it is early morn and then i can't sleep).

i did have a nice walk down to the base of queen anne to see the movie. my ankle is mostly healed, thank god, and the night air was wonderful. i love cruising around at highspeed. I feel apart from the crowd and the city is mine. everyone else is just a bump on the street. this is extra enhanced if i am sporting a walkman, but i haven't been for a while. which is ok. something to look forward to.

i had a nice chat with jen this morning. sometimes half way around the world doesn't matter.

product release on monday. time has flown. i am now ready for vacation and little else. counting down till the 22nd.

thursday morn.
mourning winter.
not enough snow time
and already the weather is turning us to spring
cherry tree across the street is in full bloom and i am leg-bared in shorts
next thing you know it'll be me down at denny-blaine in a speedo
look out world.

i really do need to get my ass back in the saddle (bike) soon.
i am turning to mushed potatos, which while being nice to snuggle against for the kitties
doesn't make me feel extremely mobile or agile.

ahh, the thirties. they are just like everybody told me they would be.

shhhhhhh.
up at 3:30
belly aching
got to get back in bed soon
cause i have to sleep some more before my 8 am meeting
too much to read, too much to do, too much to see, too much to eat
ugh.

i could write some more,
but it would make me sad right now.
instead, and to cheer me up,
i will read about the business of learning on the web.

pray for zzzzzs.

was i ever really 19?

march 22,1989 11:10 am TESC it's a beautiful day! and i hope it will stay this way. my basic plans for today are 1) catch bus into town & 2)Get to a freeway and hitch to vancouver. hopefully i'll be able to find someplace to stay for the night. either edna's or jon's. Or maybe i will try to camp. it could be interesting. The sky looks awful heavy. a sponge all soked in water and trying to hold it all. i bet as soon as i leave cover it will spill itself all over. but such it is. a little rain never hurt anyone. best be on my way. sometimes i wonder if anyone is worth fighting over. my gut reation whei I come up against compitition is to draw back and think. sometimes depressing, sometimes pissifying. avec elle, i have always felt a quiet assurancethat i didn't have to worry about others (my older now self laughs) though i tend to explode with jealousy at her mightest move. I spun dreams of webs cause of secrets shared. the sky, she does cry. With X2 it is different. I suppose it would be with anyone else with whom you share mysteries. Because of unbalance, i am often left feet up in the air. She draws all attention and she leaves me like a stone in the path. We whisper secrets to eachothers toes and draw pictures in lovely lines on eachothers bodies. we are soulsplit and shhhhhharing mysteries. Hers is the kind of dream that becomes too hard to leave, and then leave you all the same. Why do I do this shit to myself? It is almost as my secrets aren't worth keeping from giving away and I need to beg someone to take them from me. I think that Elle, my parents and the Woodmama understand me more that me myself. (Future self laughs and wonders at the fool that was he, for through deep shit has he travelled). Maybe it is safer that way. I wonder what I am writing about, I wonder what adverture I am going on today. I love the road. It is like a gauntlet I have to run. With Shes and hes ready to clobber me with memories for me to suffer tomorrow. Does that make sense? To be driven to distraction and in that state of distract find some dream defined? I wonder now what I will have tomorrow, what I am remembering this by writing it. (Future self cries of a mountain of discarded memories). Oh legs of the road, I am yours.... of sorts. I opted for the bus rather than exercise the thumb. A bit of a cop out? Perhaps. But hints of terror and caution are tangible beasts for a white boy from africa. And besides, I didn't feel like hanging by the side of the road for a long time... in the rain... how dreary. Maybe we have some of those hidden excuses, too. I'm sure that they are there, maybe i just don't like rejection. Edna will sure be surprised when i show up at her door. I have my doubts, but it is kind of late to back out now. I do wish I had her number though. How will this break end? A man who looks suprisingly similar to a troll walks by. A monsterous nose, red-faced, wiry beard that could house a host of mice, crooked back and his eyes were dark and flashing as he glances back and forth. 6:00 pm got here at 4:00, called Edna and she picked me up from the GreyHound Station. She's looking pretty good for eighty and although she sometimes confuses me for my father, she seems to be doing fine. Her conservatives views are sometimes disturbing. But I guess that goes with the territory she tread. She can sure talk... spreading rumors that are 50 years old and all the player now six feet under or ash to the wind. Talking depression talk and the move from North Dakota. Talking the Dutch Cup and gravey for dinner. We watch the news and I call Jon. The cuckoo skoots out of a clock every hour and cuckoos. We eat hard candy. I will go to Portland in the morning. I will probably never dream this again. I am feeling lustful. Good thing I am around nobody to fall in love with. Cause it would put a sparkle on my already sparkley life. Though to act like I act assures that I will once again open some wound. I have a good feeling about today. I don't know why or where it is coming from. Maybe I slept well. When I woke up in the middle of the night I was thinking about X2's eyes. I dig P-town. It has a bit of funk to it. I jumped a bus and found jon's house in NW on my own. We hung in the kitchen, he smoked, I drank too much coffee. He and I took a bike ride to the secret site of elephant manure, the rose garden and the zoo. Feeling like a lump of jello, out of shape and falling apart at nineteen. We cruised some antique stores and joan picked up a funky naugahyde rocking chair. she rocks. hmmm trouble in small package. I bought a ticket to see the throwing muses (kristen hersh- yumm), so I am gonna hang here till sunday. Elle, X2 and the Woodmama will be back by then. Then I won't be lonely. And I am going off to bed. Some beer minded fantasies drifting through my head about you. Friday, March 24, 1989 Portland, OR Early morning. A seagull flies by the window of the room that I have made my own for spring break

busy weekend full of family parts,
lots of lounging and no late bed times for mr. nick b. peters II
saturday i helped mom set up her new computer and gave some mini tutorials
on mail, shortcuts etc. my grandparents (the gs) were out also. we had a lovely lunch of kippers, sardines, bread, vinegar, oil, green onions, and other nummy things. then home with a pile of books rescued from moms giveaway pile. i imagine i will bringing lots of things back home from trips up there. mom is in a get rid of mood. she is definitely divesting herself of storables so that she is lighter for travel. i take it as a good sign and am happy that she is so adventurous.

sunday joel came out sailing with g'pa and i. buckets of wind and the sound was choppy. we sailed over to pt. madison and anchored for lunch. we had a little mishap with the rollerfurler and a tangled jib.... but we got over that. we were hitting 7.2+ nmph. cold, blustery, wet, slippery goodness. needless to say i was exhausted when i got home at 4:00 and really accomplished nothing else all yesterday. i was in bed by 9:30 pm after already having fallen asleep on the couch.

now i am sitting around in boxers and longunderwear top waiting for my work week to begin. sipping gatorade and wishing i had 4 hrs instead of 2, cause then it would be worth going back to bed.

ahhh.
just did a full on clean out of the kitty litter boxes.
a horrid task. but better that i am the only one to do it.
i am the master procrastinator
until i s n a p.
and then i get all clean freak.
fortunately it only lasts an hour or so.

dr. tommorow for ankle care.
gonna be a pain in the booty to get there
really more of a pain in the foot.
is this really part of the choice i made 6 years ago
not to have a car. save the world, baby.
more like save a dime.

just gave some cash to washpirg
partially cause it is crap out, the pirgee collecting was young, cute and idealistic
and i caught a faintly erotic smell of rain and patchouli on her.
aah evergreen you ruined me.

from my sister.
see what i have to put up with...

roller skating?
skate boarding?
biking?
naked dancing?
how'd you do it this time?
It sucks that you hurt your ankle. Don't forget the ice.
wait, you know better than anyone in the world how to take care of injuries seeing as you are the most experienced with it.
i love you,
sp

very cool for folks that have to get thier intestines scanned

wow.
i forgot how much pain a body can contain in its limbs. I mean, damn, i am the master of dealing with discomfort if it is related to the digestive system... but my ankle is worrying me something fierce. I have been up since 2:30 doing the hot/cold thing to it... this is after i went to bed with a bag of frozen soy beans strapped to my foot. hot bath, cold pack, got it wrapped, took some aspirin... hobble hobble hobble. ouch. I guess i can't ignore it.

the emergency rooms in this town love me. i have my own special room at each hospital and everybody knows me by name.
so good to see you again, mr. peters... your suite is this way.
ok, so it isn't quite that bad, but close. I do recognize the emergency room techs at a couple of hospitals.

duck likes it when i keep her schedule. she's like "dude, since your up you might as well feed me a few times". self-serving kitty beyatch.