got a nasty cold
and it's bumming me out.
heading up to ma's house this afternoon
to commence the holiday festivities

I kinda just feel like staying in bed.

mmm
just got back from a christmas cruise on lake washington
went from mercer island to near sandpoint
the cruise was on the good ship dharma
with my friends the ritzmans. excellent evening
lovely people. bunch of us piled onto a bunch of jackets and took
a nap as it got late.
we were all puppy like. piled. like. dogs.
joe and tara are home from bangladesh
brett is back from china
the holidays are great for seeing friends.
tired. one more friday in a neverending week.
breakfast with brian, chris, toni, mary scott and joel
and then i take brandito to the airport where i will send him
off to LA in his penultimate trip down there. gonna suck when he moves.
night night night.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Week of December 21, 2000

The coming year may bring a motley parade of exaggeration and extravagance. You could be offered heaps of things you don't need, making it hard to focus on the truly valuable boons that'll also be available. Want to prevent this future from occurring? You can. All you have to do is rouse the force of your will to new heights. With a clear vision of what you really need and a burning intention not to get distracted by inferior or irrelevant gifts, you will guide your fate in the direction of felicitous abundance, not useless excess.


hmmmmmmmm.... lovely latkefest last night chez max & co. good food good peeps. tonight joe and tara get back from bangladesh. and it still isn't friday. whats up with that? long drawn out week of friday feeling days and it seems like i should be up on some mountain in some snow but nooooooo... got meetings.
grand.

i really really really feel like shit.
i got a flu shot yesterday
and had a few drinks last night
and am now trying to decide if i need to herf or not.
ugh. hot flashes. belly rolling nausea. a fucking blast.
I made it through work alright. though the queasy feeling was there all day.

and then i come home
and as i walk through the door
i make myself this little promise
that i won't turn this machine on
that i will lay down and rest.

but then i toss some pigeonhed on
and the computer was magically alive
and i took some anti-nausea medicine (Compazine)
and am typetypetyping away.

what an odd world to live in. text and pixel.

spin
spin
spin.

this is what i imagine being seasick is like
though i have never had the misfortune of being struck by this
dis ease.

dig?

5:24 AM
Do you know where your holiday vacation is?





close and yet, so far.
dreaming of days of nothingness.
that

and getting the fuck out of dodge.

oh my
went to the dentist
got a tooth recemented. fun. very. fun.
and then went drinking to celebrate a friends birthday.
mar gar rita s.
and i am thinking like that now.
kind of
in
circles. no worries though. it is all good and well. i have a few hours before i gots to go to work.

tried to go ice skating.
but we were 45 minutes too late.
what's up seattle?
got to be in bed by 8 or you turn ugly?

bahh humbug.

"your The Onion horoscope:
Taurus: (April. 20--May 20)
The dog next door will speak to you with the voice of Satan, commanding you
to bring it the unclean meat which masquerades as bacon but is not bacon. "


and there you have it.
thanks ms. robinson.
hung

o
v
e
r
.

late night.
smokey smelling.
just cabbed home from re-bar
location of my misspent youth. the old crowd was there
was still there it is amazing how you can go away and come back
and the same people i was dancing with ten years ago are still dancing
in the same spot on the dance floor. perhaps a few new moves, but just as funky as ever.

though sadly, Riz wasn't playing.
as fun as re-bar is,
it just isn't the same without riz
spinning.

ahhh the good old days. world beat wednesday. back when i was young and my knees didn't hurt after dancing. how i suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

did i mention?
no i didn't.
it is my grandfather's birthday today.
he is 79. he kicks ass. In addition to being my grandpa Russ is the captain of the Indian Summer, a naval architect, and a very, very good friend.
we have been sailing together for a few years now and it is one ot the greatest things in my life. being on the water and working to help direct a big piece of fiberglass through the water is dreamy and cold and wet, doing it as a team is more wonderful than this. I value what he teaches me on the boat and in our conversations.

Happy Birthday Grandpa! I love you.

n.

good morning,
or something like that
good day at the jobby job
better day to be home from it.
supposedly i am going out ass shaking tonight
for the birthday celebration of an old and dear friend.
supposedly i can still muster.
energy is not what it was 5 years ago
i am getting fat and lazy and
isn't it nice.

work. is. progressing. in. stages.
i keep hoping that my content is coming
and one day, i suspect, it'll show up

as it is i am just helping build a nice bed
for it to land in. I will show you when it happens.

viva la revolution!

in the middle of jeanette winterson's "the world and other places" .
it is brilliant. she is a lovely writer. i want to read her books over and over and over again.
i know a woman who collects books and doesn't read them
because she knows she has to save something for later. she has to be able to savor some cummings
or pick your favorite and wait till you have the breadth and width of experience to know that you want to have the last piece of candy. doesn't work for me. what if you die? what if i died and i hadn't gotten to read "sexing the cherry" or "written on the body" or hell... let's be really drastic and imagine if i never got to read "walking words" by eduardo galeano. that book makes life worth living.

some people have a way with their craft. galeano, rodin, ocampo.
yer freaking my mind.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Week of December 14, 2000

"All that maddens and torments; all truth with malice in it; all that cracks the sinews and cakes the brain; all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil, to crazy Ahab, were visibly personified, and made practically assailable in Moby-Dick." So wrote Herman Melville in his novel about the white whale relentlessly pursued by Captain Ahab. I offer up this passage to you, Taurus, to encourage you to find your own ultimate scapegoat. Though I usually preach the path of love and peace, this week is one of those rare times when you'll be smart to feel your wrath in its pure state. There's no need to actually punch or scream at your chosen symbol of devilry. Merely allowing yourself to guiltlessly experience white-hot anger will be amazingly healing.

thanks mr. brezney

home
after work vibe
some president is stepping in
and the world is a sadder place
bummer, but fitting.
I think we get what we ask for
and obviously america is asking for
something different.

maybe it is time to travel.

Dinner tonight with friends
not sure what to eat. soup.
yes.

it snowed today. a dusting. a flirt. a tease.
and i am jealous of winter.

morning again.
no avoiding this.
i have been getting up later and later.
hiding my head under my pillow so my cat won't lick my face
instead she tromps all over me. evil, evil cat. she sits on my lower back and makes biscuits.

if i feed her early enough she will come back an snuggle with me.
unfortunately at that point, i am already awake.

went to nishinos for sushi last night with my ma. she came into town to pick up some turkish delight (the candy, not hasish) for her students who she is reading the lion, the witch and the wardrobe to. she is a great teacher. and the sushi was devine, as was the sake, as was hanging with mom.

and then i was lulled to sleep by a phone call from a friendly lady who is leaving town for a spell.
gonna be odd not to be in contact for while. praying for internet cafes in interesting locales.

to the saltmines.

late night phone call from sweetie far away
woke me from heavy handed slumber and happily handed me
back to it when she was done with me. ahhh.

i rarely mind being woken up. ok. i do admit that occasionally i can be a bear
and that at those times, the waker may take heed and never try it again. but really,
if you got a good reason to need my wakeful company... baby, i'm yours.

besides, night time is good frisky time
and there is always something to do.

when i was a kid in bellingham (70-73)
i remember my ma in the front room, drawing the curtains open,
and the three older midgets in my family (matt, me and maria) sitting in the sunshine on the funky 70's floor
and my mom saying "Good Morning World!" and all of us repeating it...

mornings. rituals. yumm.

Good Morning World
Good morning kitties
Good morning computer
good morning excel spreadsheet that i have to finish before i go to work at 7:30
good morning features
good morning functionality
good morning key benefits
and finally
good morning sleeping beauties everywhere
good morning happy peppermint tea
and good morning cream of rice.

later,
n.

i guess monday morning and afternoon did have a little on me
cause i am beat
and it is time for bed.
nice chat with la la la linda,
i like to laugh and that lady makes me laugh.

big long day at the office, honey,
and another one tomorrow.

i do, however, hear rumblings of time on the road. sweet antiguiss, mother to all
travellers, deliver me from this my sedentary life.



oh well, perpetual dilemma.

later.
n.

hey
monday morning has got nothing on you.
hmmm...

just had a swell visit w/ missises darlene, tess and kim. D&T came up from p-town. kim down from vancouver. we had a great wander around downtown last night. Tess, 12, had some serious shopping demons to exocise. it was fun to watch. the other ladies and i had a good time visiting and catching up. d went to evergreen w/ me back in the day. Kim is a sweet friend of a sweet friend. they are family. yum.

we picked up some halibut at the market and ate it with asparagus, squash and rice. and a few bottles of wine. then the ladies had a slumber party on the living room floor. today we went downtown and drank bad coffee and took some pictures. We ate some tasty mexican food and laughed.

now everybody has gone home and i have work to do.

dig?
n.

sneakyfreak

Duck and i are hanging out waiting for a friend to show up.
we like it when people visit. i am becoming mad,
like an old lady. mad crazy not mad mad. i talk about my cat all the time.
it is kind of freaky.

Ok friends and foes,
a little love from above,
take it or leave it,
as you choose.
-n.